The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
