we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
she pinky promised me she was 18
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
