I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
