Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize