JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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