Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
