I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
