Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize