real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Randomize
