Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
