Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
