my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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