No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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