Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
