physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
