Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
