Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
