After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
