Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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