I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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