Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
