I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
