May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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