I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
