The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
