I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
