i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
