Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Damn victory sex feels great
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
