You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
