yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
