just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
