I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
