Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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