my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
