Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
