I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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