i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
