i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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