I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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