oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I will be naked everywhere
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
