We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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