I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
