scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
