We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
