we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
