I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
