never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
