there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
