i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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