You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
As shirtless as possible
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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