They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
