Fine. I'll sleep in my office
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
