i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Randomize
