can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
