Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
