I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize