we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
