hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
