theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
