I wish I could punch you in the face.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
im holly from the hills drunk
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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