I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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