I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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