u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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