I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
