It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
