I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Can you bring me the toilet please
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
