a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
