Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
