I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I enjoy the company of your penis
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
