I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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