Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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