Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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