we're blogging at a bar
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
