just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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