Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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