So gin and wine won't be happening again
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
